The Difference Between How She and He Communicate
HER STORY...
Today is Monday. It is a working day, but I have taken a day off work. I am sitting at home, nursing a heartbreak.
On Saturday, he and I planned to go out for dinner, but something went wrong. We have not spoken for two days, and I don't know where he is now.
I was in Nanyuki for five days, but I planned to return to Nairobi by 7 p.m. on Saturday. We talked on the phone at lunchtime, and we agreed to meet at 8 p.m. in Westlands.
My drive back was smooth, but on crossing River Sagana, traffic became heavy and slow. I don't know what caused it, but it simply wasn't moving. By the time we reached Makuyu, it was 7.30 p.m., and we had slowed down to 20 km per hour.
There was no oncoming traffic, so I suspected there was an accident ahead. After a while, some drivers grew impatient and started to overlap. They probably hoped to get ahead of others but they made things worse for everyone.
I called him to say I'd be late, and he said it's OK, he would wait. He is easygoing, so I knew he would understand.
I arrived in Nairobi at midnight, and he was still waiting at Montego Bay, a popular sports bar in Westlands. I live nearby, so it's the place I usually go to unwind.
He sat alone at a corner, holding an empty glass in one hand and browsing his phone with the other. He looked bored, but I understood. My girlfriends were not around, so he was probably unable to pick a conversation with anyone else. Sports bars are not his idea of fun. He prefers to hang out at Kamakis.
I sensed something was wrong when he did not stand up to hug me. Usually, he opens his wide arms and wraps them around me, burying my forehead in his powerful six-pack. Today, he just stretched out his hand and said "hi".
"Have you taken dinner?" I asked.
"No," he replied, his eye still glued to his phone.
I: "Can I order you something to eat?"
HE: "No. I am not hungry."
I: "How about a drink?"
HE: "I have taken one coke. I'll not drink anything else."
He sounded hostile, and I wondered why. It couldn't be because I was late. He, too, is a perennial latecomer, so he should have understood.
I ordered a quick snack, and I ate it quietly. He told me Betty, my best friend, had passed by but left 30 minutes before I arrived.
"Who was she with?" I asked,
"Alone," he replied.
I apologized for being late, and he said: "OK, I understand." He sounded uninterested, so I did not explain what happened. He said he was tired, and I asked him if we could leave.
"Can we go to my place?" I asked.
HE: "No, I'll go to my house."
I: "It's late. Can I drop you home?"
HE: "No, I'll take a matatu."
I got angry and left; but, when I got home, I could not sleep. Many things raced through my mind as I tried to figure out why he was so unfriendly.
He is a fitness instructor at my gym, and he and I have been going out for seven months. At the gym, he is the favourite trainer of most ladies. They adore his tall, masculine frame; deep, reassuring bass; and gentle, confident demeanour. Some have told me they would like to date him, but they are too shy to ask. We've kept our relationship secret, so they don't know about it.
He's 26, but he is mature, responsible, and caring. I am 35, financially well-off, have a fulfilling career, and live in my own house. I want to settle down and have a family. If he ever proposes, I'll say yes.
My relationship with him has been positive and respectful. However, as you can imagine, I spend a lot of time and energy fending off competition. Even some of my friends have, jokingly, asked me to let them have him for a day. Betty is one of them, and I suspect she has something to do with what happened on Saturday.
Could she have told him who I had gone to meet in Nanyuki? If she did, I would not blame him for acting as he did.
That bitch. Why can't she keep her mouth shut? She is supposed to be my best friend; so, if I let her into her my secrets, she should hold them in confidence. I wanted to give her a piece of my mind, but she had switched off her phone throughout the weekend.
His phone was off too. Yesterday, I went to his house in Roysambu three times, but he was not there. One of his neighbours told me that he last saw him at 6 p.m. on Saturday.
Today is his day off. His phone is still off, so I'm going to his house to find out if he is back.
HIS STORY...
Arsenal Lost.
